My Anti Bucket List- Stuff I Really Can’t See Myself EVER Doing Once or Doing Again

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Taking inspiration from this great article I read on news.com.au in the wee hours of this morning, and following on from my Bucket List post I published not long ago (which you can read here), I’ve decided to make public the stuff which I will NOT do in my lifetime. I’m not thinking short-term, because I will hopefully live until a ripe old age, I’m thinking like well into my 80’s (if I’m lucky).

So as I’m now 31 years of age, I’ve given it my best and come up with a list of 31 things I, Lauren, will NOT EVER do in my lifetime.

Enjoy!

  1. swim with sharks {even gummy ones- holy moly they creep me out with their slimy skin and streamline swimming!}
  2. go skiing (again) {long story short- think dislocated shoulder after a Lauren-versus-tree incident at high speeds}
  3. eat wasabi (again) {holy mother of burning tongue hell!}
  4. bungee jumping {I have developed an INTENSE, and boy do I mean INTENSE! abnormal fear of heights. It’s bordering on a phobia I think. Yes, self-diagnosed. Lucky I’m only 5ft nothing tall}
  5. abseil {again} {brings back frightening memories from a camp as a child where I was told “it’s okay Lauren, it’s only concrete, you’ll bounce”} {!!!!!!!! is all I have to add to that}
  6. having another child {I’d love to NOT EVER go through another pregnancy, but yeah, give me another cute pipling and I’d be happy}
  7. saying “yes” to everything I get asked to do {I’m a people pleaser and it has really worked against me in the self-esteem department}
  8. Zumba {just no!}
  9. going on another date-date again {happily married to the man of my dreams thank you!} {ps we do go on dates occasionally, I’d like to more often, but that’s the subject of another “how to have more time when you have two little piplings” blog post}
  10. own a bird {again, I’ve done this before. It ended quite badly. I’m not ready for friends of the feathered kind}
  11. like Rachel Danger, the creator of the viral post My Anti Bucket List, I won’t EVER run a marathon {I was built to run up until my early twenties. Now all I run for is cover when my children wake up in the morning}
  12. sky dive {insert terrified scream here. no thanks. keep me INSIDE the plane or ON the ground}
  13. go on a scary upside down, round and round etc ride at a show {again, I’ve done this before but no, never willing to do this again. God bless my iron stomach and its need to stay on stable land}
  14. i will never smoke or take drugs {the most prudish person you might meet, but hey I value my lungs, my organs and my senses thank you very much!}
  15. take on too many clients at the same time {comes back to my “people pleaser” roots}
  16. saying “yes” to everyone and everything {no, just no!}
  17. volunteering to sing in public, which rules out ever going to Karaoke {I sing in my car only, my poor children’s ears….}
  18. walk in the city alone at night {Can’t trust the Victorian Parole Board to keep us Victorian Women safe in the community, so I’ll take matters into my own hands….and most likely become a hermit}
  19. going on a bus tour in Europe { I can drive, I’m middle-aged now, no Contiki Tours with randoms for me}
  20. eat any animal offal or leg of ANY kind {frog, chicken, pigs trotters. EWWWWW. No}
  21. become vegetarian {don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my vegetables and love avoiding meat occasionally, but I can’t see myself passing up a delicious roast chicken or scotch fillet any time soon}
  22. spending a tiny amount on my children for Christmas and Birthdays {I love spoiling them, what can I say?}
  23. visit Iceland or Greenland or Antarctica {Warm old sunny Australia for me, thanks}
  24. FULLY completing a daily “to do” list {there are always things I just don’t get done- maybe I’m trying to do too much. Maybe I need more naps}
  25. ignore someone who I think is struggling {I like to help, Nurses are built like that}
  26. painting our house {I REALLY dislike painting. It’s more tiresome and boring than watching paint dry. And the fumes make me see noises!}
  27. die my hair black {I’m just too pale}
  28. ending my writing career {I’ll die with fingers on the keyboard or with a pen in my hand}
  29. having a good night’s sleep {two children under 5, what can I say? zzzzzzzzzzzzz}
  30. becoming a body builder {I like my womanly curves and pasty, yet feckled skin. No bronzing, weights or protein shakes for me. Just the tiger stripes I earned growing my piplings for a total of 18months- glad I’m not an elephant, two years for each pregnancy would have me reaching for the butter knives….}
  31. AND last but not least- getting a tattoo {scared of the pain, don’t like needles, don’t like the idea of permanent images on my skin, what if I don’t like them in like 5 minutes? Temporary tattoos that come in bubble gum packets all the way for me}

Have you created your bucket list? Now you know what you want to do, it’ll be easy to work out what you DON’T want to do with the rest of your life!

Link your bucket list and anti bucket list blogs below!

LEJ

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